My Addiction

Since the age of 14 I have enjoyed a love/hate relationship with my smoking addiction. To the young reader you may be excused for regarding me as dumb or reckless. But, before passing judgement please try to consider that I was brought in a time when it was quite acceptable to smoke, my mum and dad smoked, my older sister smoked, it was quiet acceptable to smoke on buses, in shops, pubs, restaurants and in the workplace. Of course I was always advised by my parents that smoking was bad, unhealthy and cost a lot of money but how hypocritical of them I thought. When I began high school many of my friends began to smoke and of course my childhood heroes, Guns n Roses were always pictured looking cool and with cigarettes hanging out of their mouths, who could blame me for starting to smoke?

It was only a few years ago that my on/off relationship with my habit began. truth be told I have never found it too difficult to stop in the short term, I have stopped for up to a year at a time with only the occasional smoke in between. I came to learn that if I was going out for a cheeky pint or two to always buy 10 cigarettes beforehand. I have also found that stress at work is responsible for me taking cigarettes from co-workers occasionally.

Though I do not smoke often these days, probably between 5 and 10 per week and that is on a bad week, I have found that these occasional smokes make a huge difference in my ability to train in Karate and Kickboxing. A bad week of smoking leaves me breathless during training sessions, far more than I ever thought it would.

With all of the above in mind, today I bought myself a vape box to stop me buying cigarettes when I get the occasional urge. Whilst I do enjoy a cigarette, I would be lying if I said I didn't, I do not like the effect it now has on my health and more importantly I don't like having to explain my addiction to my son when he does occasionally see me with a cigarette. I have tried to hide my habit from him but that has not stopped him occasionally seeing me a smoke or smell it on me.